Comin’ in on a Wing and a Prayer.

Go travel the world; you’ll be wiser for it they said. But they forgot to add it was an elite club with a contemptuous acceptance criteria coupled with pretentious goals.

I’ve met just four people who’ve broken the rules and then some.

The uncrowned king of beer pong, but most importantly, when told of a possible camp, trek or climb, will board the closest vehicle and get his magic bag of BBQ equipment lovingly packed by his wife.

http://www.tripoto.com/trip/redefining-india-female-travelling-solo-with-no-money-566c58410487b#.VnLewEx-_Os.facebook

A girl who I chanced to meet on the NH8, determined to reach a hill station from Bombay – without a cent. The absence of a vehicle doesn’t shackle her journey.

http://breakfreejourneys.com/

 The founder of Breakfree Journeys, who knows some of India’s best riverside spots to set up a 5-star camp and give you a history lesson at the same time.

The giggly music man who will insightfully inform you of the next meteor shower while navigating and organizing the whole trip – his last count was spotting 75 falling stars.

There are mostly no photographs of the trips they’ve taken, no posts on social media tagged for likes.

They won’t do Goa by plane; instead they’ll cycle all the way there from Bombay. They won’t care if the beer’s warm, mainly because they’re damn happy there is drinkable beer in the first place. They will make sure to call or send you a message telling you about a new route they’ve discovered and inviting you to come with them, sometimes a week in advance, and sometimes in just an hour.

It could be a bus journey chatting with daily commuters. Or a 3-hour one way trip in a second class train compartment every day. Why? Because that’s ‘travel’ too, isn’t it?

‘I’m a world traveler’ is now a byword for the bourgeois & nouveau riche. It’s marketed as an essential rite of passage if you want to be a part of it.

The ‘I camped out at one of our coastal beaches’ is so passé, even the coast guard will shoo you into the nearest resort – after which the moral police will barge in asking for a marriage certificate. If three or more… It’s an orgy!

This tirade was brought to a head by an email sent to me by a biking group, which covered sexism, hypocrisy and a barely concealed attempt at organic marketing. Words like inspire, travel, women-bikers, pride, passion, were thrown about like cheap, stale bidis. Feminism was just a snazzy cover in this case.

Proud to be a woman-biker. Really? I could be proud to be the first dildo maker or gay matchmaker in India and it shouldn't have anything to do with me being a woman. Just the fact that the junta accepts it as a way of life is more than enough.

You know what inspires me? My local sabji-walla (vegetable seller) who travels for three to four hours in a crowded train and yet has a smile for those bargaining housewives.

Why travel is my passion? Because the women I travel with on my daily commute to work on the 2^nd class virar train, have become the best of friends, making a tedious journey, a fun one.

What do I find pride in? The road-side book-seller who bravely sells 50 Shades of Grey after the Indian porn ban. That takes real courage.

If you find these points shallow, imagine a simple act of travel made into a movement, with corporates getting on the bandwagon to award the rebellious brat with titles like the ‘Original Rebel’  and ‘Freedom Chaser’.

You are a traveler only if you have the passion for it, and passion comes at a price.

A response to my rant on social media about the hypocrisy of India’s status-bound biking community, read, ‘in our younger days we couldn’t afford anything else but a motorbike to travel, now it’s become a passion’ and I bet the writer of the comment has now got a 6-figure cruiser. In my day we couldn’t even afford a bike and now, even a 5 gear cycle with the way inflation is going.

Try taking your doodh-walla’s (milkman) cycle to a snazzy bicycle meet, or take your 50cc moped to a motorbike rally. Do you feel the love?

 It’s Feminism held back by hypocrisy.

Gender equality held back by feminists.

&

Tolerance held back by false prophets.

Pilots long ago called it ‘comin in on a wing and prayer’. Today wanderlust limps in, burdened with unfettered prejudice, struggling to fly.

All we can do is stand on the side lines, as mute spectators, hoping it makes a safe landing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GVJpOmaDyU
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*The controversial rant from where this began:
I joined the Bikerni ages ago - the all-women biking club. I'd just learnt how to ride, having always wanted to. The women I met were bright go-getters with the world open to conquer. A lovely dream put together by its founders - Urvashi & Firdos. Sharvari & Chitra are two of the most brilliant women I know who've kept at it till today.That being said, I've met a fair amount of men with the same attitude too - travelers, bikers, cyclists and writers.

But what it really comes down to are those moments, those stories shared with a cup of coffee made over a campfire.For a penniless writer like me, it was paradise. Because you see, I've always ridden my reliable 100cc, he's almost broken down, but as for mileage he's a superstar. I'm not making excuses why I haven't bought a 6 figure motorbike, just that I cannot afford it. Much like 80% of India's population. That being said, buying a bike that could feed India's farmers and their families for a decade just felt wrong, and it still does.

I write this for those intrepid travelers and life-long friends who I've chanced to meet, each one giving me a piece of their hearts and precious time along the way.

So, to all those "aspiring" bikers there...Women AND men. Biking is not a way of life, neither is it a rebel-rating.
It's what gets someone's dad to work and back. It's what enables someone's mum to make quick work of shopping with grocery bags balanced on handle-bars.

There are rides for women's empowerment - but yet have to see someone help a woman being beaten on a crowded road. Let's be honest, 'cause you did it for exactly that reason, right? Helping Women? Yes, it helped so much it pulled in media, and got your pictures in newspapers.You're a celebrity. Smile!

Your epic road trip to Leh. Wow. What an achievement. Even better than what our soldiers do.

Remember that when you ride onto your next rally, your trip to Leh, your selfies atop your swanky chromed up machine.
It's just a machine. Not a life.

You group-mailed me for a story #Bikerni. I did what I do best. Write about the fucked up hypocrisy of India's status-bound biking community.